12th
See I reckon you’re about an 8 or a 9, maybe 9 and a half in four beers time
Gal: look, a pigeon
Clarance: French pigeon.
Paris is like getting a static shock from a really hot girl. Or I should say a really fit girl. Within two hours of our arrival I was almost scammed twice by gypsies at Sacré Coeur Cathedral. Then we met up with Parker, Sam Parker, the man, the legend. Within an hour of his arrival we were playing drinking games with a South African, an American, and an Australian. This being the social prowess that is Sam Parker.
Apparently we ended up in these French peoples’ flat on our first night. To be honest it was tres sketch, and at the same time exciting. I’m assuming it was an average parisian bachelor pad. There were a bunch of us, inebriated and listening to music, I remember one of the french guys, phillipe, showed me his math finance book, for some strange reason. He’s going to be finishing his masters soon. Apparently the French get their weed from Amsterdam. Parker got this French chicks number. I think at around 2 we left the flat. As we tried to leave the building we realized that the door was locked. Hearing the loud footsteps of a security guard, a small shot of adrenaline went up our spines before we saw that he was smiling and was going to let us out.
Sam Parker: “Dude, do you realize we just chilled with the locale?”
The next morning I had to check my photos to remind myself of what happened the night before.
The second day, having missed breakfast by half an hour, we go eat our respective meals. Clarance and Sam for Big Macs at McDicks, I go for an omlette avec fromage.
“But Gal, I don’t care what you ate for breakfast on Saturday morning”
Of course you don’t care, I’m dishing out everything I can possibly remember, because there really isn’t much.
On the second day we went around walking with Emily (the American) and Kyle, another American who’s hilarious. We walked around Paris, down the Seine and around to the Eiffel Tower, to the capital building or whatever. I didn’t really know what all the buildings were, even the really epic ones. There are a quite a few photos I believe. I think I told myself to mention here that the field in front of the eiffel tower isn’t really a field, it’s just bottle caps and cigarette butts with scattered patches of green. Maybe the greatest achievement of the walk around Paris was the birdcall language we developed.
Kyle: “I’d always know that you guys were walking behind us because I’d see a girl, and then I’d count to four, and then I’d hear the birdcalls.”
Then we got drunk at this Scottish Bar called the Highlander. We made friends with the bartender. I didn’t understand most of what she was saying but we held lengthy conversations about something. We were allowed to smoke outside the bar, but if we did, the lady on the floor above the bar takes a pail of water and throws it on you. We might head back there, or probably not.
Last night we got drunk and chilled on a balcony of the hostel with this guy from Calgary. We might meet up with him in Bruges. Then we went with Emily to Cafe Oz, which is supposed to be a Bar but once you walk inside it’s a club. I had an hour long conversation with a Parisian man who spoke no english. We ate some kebab. Somehow we lost Clarance and Sam, I got pretty worried, so we went back to the hostel and they were there. Emily was being a bitch and she forced her way into my room. My texan roomates and I spent this entire morning making fun of how she snores.
Sam Parker: “We thought she was nice, but… twas a bitch.”
Now it’s morning, aka 2 pm. We’re already drinking. We still haven’t been to the Louvre, or to Notre Dame, or to Champs, yeaaaaaah. I think we’re sick of Emily so now we’re goign to chill with the texans.
